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Flushing Grandpa Down The Toilet
I had a nice weekend with Alex that was tragically boring solely from how fucking MISERABLE this heat wave is. It's currently 7:30, with the sun setting, and it's abouuuutt 90 degrees. I need to speak to who is in charge :/
I wrote an essay for my Mortuary Administration class (boo) on alkaline hydrolysis (yay!) and why it is good and the FUTURE of death. Wouldn't you like to be hit with water and acid over the course of several hours until you were brittle bone? Then that brittle bone pounded into powder and placed in a decorative urn? The professor responded:
"Good research and paper. Personally, I am squeamish about hydrolysis for the usual reasons; boiling grandpa in acid and flushing him down the drain? How is that respectful? But I know the new generation of funeral directors will have to come to grips with new demands."
But all that matters is that sweet sweet 100% I got.
Me and Alex then laid on the couch and tossed ideas back and forth on what to do while adhering to social distancing in public. We could go to a store, but people. We could go to the park, but the sun is currently boiling the city.
We ended up watching an Ode To A Most Belov'd Anamalocarus. Yes. All 4 minutes and 14 seconds. We truly lament the loss of such a pivotal ancestral arthropod.
I'm now deep into a rabbit hole of looking at bisected lungs filled with P. jiroveci fungi until the sun sets, then hopefully we can actually go for a walk in the ... Cool, chilly, 87 degree weather. Augh.
Pictured: Me

I wrote an essay for my Mortuary Administration class (boo) on alkaline hydrolysis (yay!) and why it is good and the FUTURE of death. Wouldn't you like to be hit with water and acid over the course of several hours until you were brittle bone? Then that brittle bone pounded into powder and placed in a decorative urn? The professor responded:
"Good research and paper. Personally, I am squeamish about hydrolysis for the usual reasons; boiling grandpa in acid and flushing him down the drain? How is that respectful? But I know the new generation of funeral directors will have to come to grips with new demands."
But all that matters is that sweet sweet 100% I got.
Me and Alex then laid on the couch and tossed ideas back and forth on what to do while adhering to social distancing in public. We could go to a store, but people. We could go to the park, but the sun is currently boiling the city.
We ended up watching an Ode To A Most Belov'd Anamalocarus. Yes. All 4 minutes and 14 seconds. We truly lament the loss of such a pivotal ancestral arthropod.
I'm now deep into a rabbit hole of looking at bisected lungs filled with P. jiroveci fungi until the sun sets, then hopefully we can actually go for a walk in the ... Cool, chilly, 87 degree weather. Augh.
Pictured: Me

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In the back of my head, I always thought I'd leave my body to a body farm. I'm sure one of them would like to do experiments on someone who is obese and the rate of composition or something like that.
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The rate of decomposition in obese decendents is pretty quick, they tend to decompose faster as any kind of warmth accelerates the breakdown of proteins and encourages microbial growth, and adipose tissue clings to warmth the longest. However, you're less likely to have an intense and difficult rigor mortis!
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