Stalker + Intimate Looks at my Life?

[jpegghost]

I got my first tattoo stalker... I think.

Her name is Amber, she showed up at the shop one day while I was working on someone. She asked if she could talk to me, and I said
" ... Hey man, I'm busy, I'll contact you when I'm done."
She said fine, she was going to wait at the gas station nearby until I was done. ...Okay.
She showed up later to discuss flash, but she genuinely didn't want to talk about that long and instead wanted to talk like we were on a date. Getting to know each other stuff. I cut it short and told her I'd contact her on Instagram. She instead gave me her phone number that I later trashed because I don't want to blur the lines of the business relationship.

Over the course of the past month, Amber would send me multiple "good morning" IG messages, or poke me for random reasons. I never respond because again, I see her as a client. Thursday afternoon while I was out with Friend Chelsea at the Natural History Museum, she did her usual 'good morning' text and then just exploded my inbox with random memes. As in, memes I don't understand. Memes about furries, memes about Jesus loving me, memes about cats eating fruits, memes about anime. Like it was a LOT (probably ten memes). And unprompted!

And while it's anticlimactic, I didn't respond. I don't have anything to say. And I don't know what to do if she shows up at the shop again.
Climb through the ceiling to freedom maybe? Tunnel out the back wall?

The current joke in the shop is that she is in love with me. UGH.

On an entirely unrelated note, I'm probably going to start taking photos of small things in my apartment, during my day at the tattoo shop, things you wouldn't normally care about but I find interesting (as in, what's on my bookshelf, in my mess drawer, on my record cabinet). I don't really have a real reason to, other than to enjoy the aesthetic of small things in my life. I'm trying to think of a good tag for it, but I'm looking forward to it actually!

Comments

[8hyenas]

"i have a stalker" followed by "an intime look into my private spaces"

cannot wait, eager for boundary to be erased. (pretend i inserted the "let me in!!!" screaming man at gate gif)

[jpegghost]

IGNORE MY LOGICAL FALLACIES

[azurelunatic]

I'm guessing that at this point there is probably no way forward for her to become your friend, because she's been coming on way too strong.

So probably a good idea to talk to the rest of the shop that you don't want to see her, and if she shows up, tell her that while you understand from her actions that she would really like to be your personal friend, that you see her as a client. And that if she can't be cool with that it would be best if she didn't contact you or show up. Which is harsh but true.

[amejisuto]

You're going to have to let her down sometime. She's not going to take a hint, I don't think. Maybe have your boyfriend there next time you know she's going to show up? That way you have a backup if she goes crazier.

Good luck!

[dark_phoenix54]

Yikes. I agree with what everyone else has said. Shut her down, now, while she can still retreat with some bit of dignity. I have a bad feeling that she wants more than friendship, and won't give up without either you, or the others in the shop, get blunt with her.

[jpegghost]

We all theorize she has a raging crush on me. Next time she DMs me good morning I'm going to just lay down the law. It's sad to do that, but she is creepy, and everyone on DW and IRL are saying she's acting like a nut.

I'd hate to embarrass her in the shop, so hopefully I can just do this over DMs. You're right about the dignity thing.

[jpegghost]

Alex doesn't hang out at the tattoo shop much, and honestly if she gets LEGIT crazy, half of our staff is carrying so I'm not worried.

I'm going to tell her to back off next time she DMs me. Or, in a nicer way, say that we have a business relationship and I'm keeping it at that.

[jpegghost]

My theory is that she is incredibly lonely, or has a crush on me. However, I'm not going to be her friend out of pity -- Anyways we have nothing in common. I'm not interested in hanging out with her at all.

I doubt she will show up at the shop again. Maybe. She's usually blowing up my DMs so next time I'm going to tell her we have a strictly business relationship and I'm not enjoying the stuff she's sending me. Sighhh.

[mucky]

Ohh, spooky. Haven't had a stalker before but definitely had some folks who were obsessed with me — good you're thinking of nipping it in the bud soon. Fingers crossed for an easy resolution and no escalation!

[jpegghost]

Yeah, same. It's kind of unsettling ... With her, I can only assume she is lonely and for some reason chose to crush on me, instead of any of the other men in the shop.
My coworker theorizes she may have a fetish for trans men, which is a thing, even though I mostly pass (save the long hair always up in a man bun or braided lol, I always get ma'amed from behind wit that)... When she inevitably DMs me again I'm going to shut it down. I really don't have time for a stalker LOL

[beanside]

As you've said in other comments, time to firmly draw the boundary! It probably will make her throw a fit, but sometimes you've just got to hold your ground.

[alee_grrl]

Wow, Amber sounds deeply unsettling to interact with. May she take a hint and move on. [fingers crossed]

I'd love to see little pics of stuff you find interesting! <3

[amejisuto]

Good thing you don't have any bunnies! I wish you loads of luck with her.

[jpegghost]

I hope she does, I think she finally has... mmmmebbe. Unsure. We will find out.

[earthspirits]

Yes, definitely time to nip this in the bud (especially as she doesn't get subtle hints). As you say, probably best (if possible) to do it via text so as to give her some "dignity" to back away. Hopefully she'll get the message this time and finally leave you alone. Good thing you have co-workers around you in the shop.

[jpegghost]

She's mostly left me alone now, thank goodness. I hope she knows I'm gay and not interested in her... I really don't wanna embarrass her but oof.