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Cryptid Navel Gazing
May. 7th, 2020 07:49 pmI have two funerals tomorrow before I'm off for the weekend, which is when I hope I can start pruning Pablito and repotting him, preparing him for the ridiculous trials and tribulations necessary to have a pretty poinsettia for the holidays. He's gotten rather leggy because I've been letting him grow like crazy, he's going to have to get trimmed back pretty extensively (probably 4-5 inches!) and I'm going to be very sad because he's going to look awful. But also, plants like trimmings, sooooo?
Also I just found out they can become tree sized if you don't prune them. That Audrey II joke I made last post hasn't aged well.
I've been pawing at Alex over a CRYPTID ROADTRIP, where we drive around Texas and hunt for cryptids near-ish us. Despite the insanity of Texas folklore, there's a tragically small amount of local illogical terrors. There's the Chupacabra, yes, but I'd wager he's more likely to be in Mexico, and someone supposedly shot a Bigfoot out here but what Bigfeet would dare live in such a nasty, hot environment when they're so densely furred? There's a Donkey-Lady about 3 hours from us, and a Man-Goat 4 hours from us, both of which I'm tempted to hit up at some point. I'll even take pictures, maybe, probably!
The lack of Texan cryptofauna makes me long for the stupid monsters of my youth. One that I remember being particularly afraid of were Melonheads -- a doctor operated on young hydrocephalic children and subsequently drove them insane and cannibalistic from his malpractice. They can also inexplicably run as fast as cars and have glowing red eyes! And their heads got even BIGGER! From ... Cannibalism? (???)
Where I grew up, there was a clearing in the forest where a rotten couch sat, with a washing machine across from it. It was obviously a local place for the kids to smoke pot, but I convinced myself that melonheads hung out there. Not far from it was a burnt up house that had long been vacated, so I of course theorized that they lived there too, chowing down on unlucky children. To add to that, I was convinced that the Goatman would eat me, or the Bunny man, but that's a tale for a different day ...
