jpegghost | Plastic on the Furniture and Tupperware Parties

Midterms have come and gone and filled me with the typical sense of doom and gloom that makes me want to drop out, quit my job, and never leave my bed again. Not having all As has demoralized me, with a grading system where a 75 is a failing grade. Mortuary school is apparently as rigorous as nursing school, who'd have thought. I just want to lay down and not get up BUT I CAN'T because I have bills to pay and sick leave doesn't include mental illness. Or at least, to my boss it doesn't. For a funeral director she lacks a severe amount of empathy.

When I get into these moods it's like there's no good in the world and I forget what happiness is, then when I'm actually okay 8 - 14 business days later, I forgot what it's like to actually be depressed and am on a high. I have short term memory loss for my own emotions. I mostly kept to myself at work with Death Certificates and filing with the state, occasionally sneaking in schoolwork when the time allowed.

Alex has baited me with dreams of being a house-husband on his fat healthcare salary (6+ figures?!) and it's all I want to do now since I'm already incredibly domestic. I've been fantasizing about our house during all seasons of the year since I like to celebrate for every holiday. It is a family tradition to go ballistic decorating, even if it's just Thanksgiving. I really hope we will be able to move in a few months, I want to celebrate Halloween with him since I always go berserk for Halloween. Spiderwebs! Bats! Black cats! Those weird pumpkin-headed men you put on your porch that are filled with bags of leaves!

And yes, I said house. House prices have dropped tremendously, and you can rent a little studio apartment or rent a little 2 bedroom house for about the same price. We want a backyard for his shiba inu and the upcoming puppy in August, too, and not to have to deal with terrible neighbors (Prostituting goes on in the apartment next to mine, which I don't really care about because get your money girl, but they litter EVERYWHERE and I find used condoms, rotten blunts, and all kinds of crap trailing from their door to the parking lot on a weekly basis).

I don't have anything else to add so check this shit out: