A Potentially Disturbing Entry

[jpegghost]

Midway through the day, I was rented out to another home for a funeral. This is a big occasion. Funerals like to keep their own, in a sort of Games of Thrones / Lion King / The Godfather scenario where the younger get trained to take over one day. We are expected to embalm and do the funerals for our predecessors. Yes, that was a requirement in one of the funeral homes I interviewed at.

For this funeral home to need help meant they were in a real pickle. I got pimped out to the other funeral home, which seemed to appreciate the young blood as the secretaries are all gossipy old ladies who sat around and talked about traffic. I was the only guy other than the lead funeral director, who seemed relieved to have me helping out despite my annoyingly youthful and enthusiastic energy. The building is from the 1920s, with renovations from the 1940s and 60s which I was ECSTATIC about, and during our tour the lead funeral director (P) stopped by a portrait of a former funeral director.


P: Want to hear something crazy?
Me, curious: Yes.
P: This funeral director was here in the 1960s. He got a call for a body removal, and when he and his crew arrived to the described house, there was a gentleman out front with a shotgun. He asked: "Are you fellas from _____ funeral home?" They said yes, and the gentleman immediately took his own life using the shotgun. The director then paused, and said "...Well, boys, let's take care of that." He didn't miss a beat. That's how desensitized you can become.

As you can see, funeral directors and their kin are morbid gremlin people and we should feel bad for being so unfazed. I remember my first time receiving a body, or inserting eye caps... I was so antsy... But just earlier today I saw a grey-green man in a body bag with significant purge and didn't feel anything! Mental conditioning is a hell of a drug.

Anyways, I took care of business and left the funeral home to go home and watch Fury Road with Alex and eat Chicken A La King. I got a package too, from Friend Shannon. She knows Alex and I are going through Prohibition drinks and was kind enough to send me a book, unprompted, on vintage tiki drinks. I'm so lucky!

Comments

[8hyenas]

I assume you've seen my very favorite romantic movie (only seen it ONE TIME, in case it is RUINED by twice watching). Where the dude uhhh maybe inherits his family's funeral home but has to operate without a license b/c he's too young and falls in love with Blake Lively and he's a little weirdo and it's in Texas.

Funeral home drama is the best. There are TWO (gasp, IMAGINE) in our area, and it gets very backstabby. I had to move our family contracts during the kerfuffle of one of the homes, TRIMMING THE MAGNOLIA TREES. You don't trim 100 year old magnolia trees. Now I harass them, they flooded and I kept posting "shouldn't have cut the magnolias" they got sued etc.

[jpegghost]

I actually have not seen it, but it looks precious and heartbreaking and yay, funerals in Texas?! That could be me! Just pretend that I'm played by Max Minghella, except heavily Slavic. Of all the 'mortuary media', I mostly get recommended to watch '6 Feet Under' which I'll get around to ........ eeeeventually. I'm not much of a binge watcher.

It sounds like there was a spirit in the magnolias, as bad things happen when you cut ancient trees I bet ... Or they just got severely unlucky. What'd they get sued about? Seems like everyone these days is getting sued for not properly disposing of bodies.

[amejisuto]

Well it sounds as if you're good at your job, especially since you're being loaned out like that. That's a good thing.

And wow with the book. That looks interesting.

[alee_grrl]

Wow, it is amazing that you got loaned out since funeral homes are so proprietary. That story is wild. I can't even imagine, but I guess if you work in that field long enough you would see just about everything.

That book looks cool. Retro tiki drinks are a lot of fun.

[jpegghost]

It is a really wild story. We are full of them, like EMTs all have really whacky stories when you get them drunk and ask. I'm still a baby in the profession but I've seen a lot of crazy stuff already.

Retro tiki is so cool! I flipped through the book and a lot of it is grabbed from ancient tiki bars circa 1950s-60s. Where I used to live before Texas, there was a nasty tiki bar that was so grimy but the drinks were so good ... It takes me back.

[alee_grrl]

I was an EMT and first responder for a while and you do see some crazy stuff. I didn't do it long enough for really wild stories, but I have a few family members in EMS and yeah they have some serious doozies.

I wouldn't have thought I'd see quite as many astounding things as an attorney, but I work in a firm that does personal injury from the plaintiffs side and you do get some wild things from time to time.

I'm glad the tiki book brings back good memories. :D

[jpegghost]

Oh man, serious props to you for being an EMT. I can't handle the stress of keeping someone alive -- I much prefer when it's not an emergency and I can take my time lol

I bet you get some weird ass cases. I hear about strange lawsuits quite often, ones that don't make sense or have no real standing. I bet you have a bunch that are whacky.

[alee_grrl]

We don't usually take the really wacky cases (unless there is an actual good case underneath), but yeah you hear some wild tales. Mostly it's just sad though.

I didn't last very long as a first responder, it's very hard on the body and my health has never been very good. But I'm glad I did it for a short time at least. I was part of a volunteer squad in a small community so it was a good way to get to know people and become part of the community.

[dark_phoenix54]

Oooohh, tiki drinks! How cool!