A Potentially Disturbing Entry
May. 25th, 2020 09:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jpegghostMidway through the day, I was rented out to another home for a funeral. This is a big occasion. Funerals like to keep their own, in a sort of Games of Thrones / Lion King / The Godfather scenario where the younger get trained to take over one day. We are expected to embalm and do the funerals for our predecessors. Yes, that was a requirement in one of the funeral homes I interviewed at.
For this funeral home to need help meant they were in a real pickle. I got pimped out to the other funeral home, which seemed to appreciate the young blood as the secretaries are all gossipy old ladies who sat around and talked about traffic. I was the only guy other than the lead funeral director, who seemed relieved to have me helping out despite my annoyingly youthful and enthusiastic energy. The building is from the 1920s, with renovations from the 1940s and 60s which I was ECSTATIC about, and during our tour the lead funeral director (P) stopped by a portrait of a former funeral director.
P: Want to hear something crazy?
Me, curious: Yes.
P: This funeral director was here in the 1960s. He got a call for a body removal, and when he and his crew arrived to the described house, there was a gentleman out front with a shotgun. He asked: "Are you fellas from _____ funeral home?" They said yes, and the gentleman immediately took his own life using the shotgun. The director then paused, and said "...Well, boys, let's take care of that." He didn't miss a beat. That's how desensitized you can become.
As you can see, funeral directors and their kin are morbid gremlin people and we should feel bad for being so unfazed. I remember my first time receiving a body, or inserting eye caps... I was so antsy... But just earlier today I saw a grey-green man in a body bag with significant purge and didn't feel anything! Mental conditioning is a hell of a drug.
Anyways, I took care of business and left the funeral home to go home and watch Fury Road with Alex and eat Chicken A La King. I got a package too, from Friend Shannon. She knows Alex and I are going through Prohibition drinks and was kind enough to send me a book, unprompted, on vintage tiki drinks. I'm so lucky!
For this funeral home to need help meant they were in a real pickle. I got pimped out to the other funeral home, which seemed to appreciate the young blood as the secretaries are all gossipy old ladies who sat around and talked about traffic. I was the only guy other than the lead funeral director, who seemed relieved to have me helping out despite my annoyingly youthful and enthusiastic energy. The building is from the 1920s, with renovations from the 1940s and 60s which I was ECSTATIC about, and during our tour the lead funeral director (P) stopped by a portrait of a former funeral director.
P: Want to hear something crazy?
Me, curious: Yes.
P: This funeral director was here in the 1960s. He got a call for a body removal, and when he and his crew arrived to the described house, there was a gentleman out front with a shotgun. He asked: "Are you fellas from _____ funeral home?" They said yes, and the gentleman immediately took his own life using the shotgun. The director then paused, and said "...Well, boys, let's take care of that." He didn't miss a beat. That's how desensitized you can become.
As you can see, funeral directors and their kin are morbid gremlin people and we should feel bad for being so unfazed. I remember my first time receiving a body, or inserting eye caps... I was so antsy... But just earlier today I saw a grey-green man in a body bag with significant purge and didn't feel anything! Mental conditioning is a hell of a drug.
Anyways, I took care of business and left the funeral home to go home and watch Fury Road with Alex and eat Chicken A La King. I got a package too, from Friend Shannon. She knows Alex and I are going through Prohibition drinks and was kind enough to send me a book, unprompted, on vintage tiki drinks. I'm so lucky!
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 01:54 pm (UTC)That book looks cool. Retro tiki drinks are a lot of fun.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 09:21 pm (UTC)Retro tiki is so cool! I flipped through the book and a lot of it is grabbed from ancient tiki bars circa 1950s-60s. Where I used to live before Texas, there was a nasty tiki bar that was so grimy but the drinks were so good ... It takes me back.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 09:25 pm (UTC)I wouldn't have thought I'd see quite as many astounding things as an attorney, but I work in a firm that does personal injury from the plaintiffs side and you do get some wild things from time to time.
I'm glad the tiki book brings back good memories. :D
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 09:30 pm (UTC)I bet you get some weird ass cases. I hear about strange lawsuits quite often, ones that don't make sense or have no real standing. I bet you have a bunch that are whacky.
no subject
Date: 2020-05-26 09:32 pm (UTC)I didn't last very long as a first responder, it's very hard on the body and my health has never been very good. But I'm glad I did it for a short time at least. I was part of a volunteer squad in a small community so it was a good way to get to know people and become part of the community.