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jpegghostI got my Singer 401A! I'd take a picture but I'm very, very lazy right now and running on fumes. It's from the 50s and in great condition, I'm messing with it as we speak to try and get a feel for things. It's VERY HEAVY at about 30 lbs so I won't be doing much transporting of it, but that's fine. I want to go to the Container Store later to get something for the fabric I'm accumulating and random spools now generating around the place.
Midterms are this week and next week and I just can't be bothered. I don't have any willpower, and I've been fighting some brand new mental illness that has made me an anxious mess. I've never had anxiety before really, but now I'm constantly convinced that any ache or pain is corona, ebola, cancer, pulmonary huntavirus! This has been going on about 3 months, but has really only intensified in the past month; I don't like talking about this because I'm pretty embarrassed about it. Other people are allowed to have mental illness and problems, I don't care, but ME? I need to MAN UP.
It's gotten bad and life-interrupting enough that when I emailed my doctor about my feelings there was very much an emergency CALL US RIGHT NOW YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE VERY SEVERE voice message on my phone immediately after. I wasn't due for an appointment for a while, and though they're booked for a month my doctor finds it dire enough that I'm getting squeezed in on his lunch break.
Admittedly I never wanted to talk about depressing things on here that can't be immediately resolved. I felt like it's something I largely need to keep to myself, and really only one or two people know aside from Alex, who has to live with me. I still feel weird posting about it!
Midterms are this week and next week and I just can't be bothered. I don't have any willpower, and I've been fighting some brand new mental illness that has made me an anxious mess. I've never had anxiety before really, but now I'm constantly convinced that any ache or pain is corona, ebola, cancer, pulmonary huntavirus! This has been going on about 3 months, but has really only intensified in the past month; I don't like talking about this because I'm pretty embarrassed about it. Other people are allowed to have mental illness and problems, I don't care, but ME? I need to MAN UP.
It's gotten bad and life-interrupting enough that when I emailed my doctor about my feelings there was very much an emergency CALL US RIGHT NOW YOUR SYMPTOMS ARE VERY SEVERE voice message on my phone immediately after. I wasn't due for an appointment for a while, and though they're booked for a month my doctor finds it dire enough that I'm getting squeezed in on his lunch break.
Admittedly I never wanted to talk about depressing things on here that can't be immediately resolved. I felt like it's something I largely need to keep to myself, and really only one or two people know aside from Alex, who has to live with me. I still feel weird posting about it!
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 02:56 pm (UTC)Also sending loads of virtual hugs. I know how hard it can be to talk about mental health issues, especially ones that are ongoing. You are absolutely not alone in those struggles though, and it can be helpful to talk about them.
It can be hard to let go of the internalized stigma we all carry when it comes to mental health issues. Gods know I'm still working on it myself. But one of the nice things about finding spaces like dreamwidth is that there are a lot of people who understand and are happy to offer some support and an ear when it is needed.
I hope the doctor is able to help a bit. Sending many virtual hug and loads of supportive energy. <3
no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-08-08 03:07 pm (UTC)<3